It reads:
Hi Mom and Dad,
I don’t think my onsie is false advertising. I mean, I DO have a (child-sized) hand full of kid super-powers. I can get & retain the attention of everyone with my powerful cuteness. I can drink a bottle at the speed of light. The problem is that while having powers is awesome, you don’t get to choose them. I may have the power to melt the hearts of the teachers, but for the life of me, I can’t even finish a work-out without falling asleep!
The other day, I didn’t even get a single rep of my customary 3 sets of crunches in before I was out (at the speed of light). Maybe it’s my body’s way of telling me to focus on a different muscle group or that I need to alternate days of cardio/strength. I don’t know, but I figure the average superhero is in their mid-late twenties (except he man, he’s gotta be at least 37 by now) so I have plenty of time to build strength and refine my powers. You have to learn to crawl before you can fly.
Love, Michael
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